Vikings @ Packers

You may have noticed the sudden chill in the air that coincidentally started right after the Vikings game. The Universe seemed a little out of balance. Cold gusts started to swoop into Minnesota. Icicles were seen forming on the noses of horned creatures statewide. There was good reason to believe hell was freezing over. The Vikings actually won a game in which Ponder played. That is an incredible achievement for this team. Hopefully, we won't have to put up with this frozen hell much longer. I have been praying to the Norse gods that Teddy Bridgewater's sprained ankle won't keep him out of Thursday's showdown with the Packers. The rumor is that Ponder is preparing to start against the Packers. One of the scariest headlines I read on Monday claimed that Christian Ponder said he was "Ready To Go" if Teddy couldn't play. Thor help us all!

No matter what, it looks like Teddy Time is here for good in the long term. Even Kalil was able to hold defenders for the split second it took for Teddy to get rid of the ball. This was an huge win (no one gave the Vikings a chance against the Falcons) and a dominant offensive performance. Hard to believe, but my quick search of data suggests that it has been OVER TEN YEARS since any Vikings offense put up over 550 yards in a game. Jerrick McKinnon (who?) had 132 yards rushing on 19 carries. It even made me briefly forget about he-who-shall-not-be-named.

The Vikings head to Lambeau Field for a game on Thursday night game. Everywhere I walk, the pavement has been wet this week, from the drooling Packer fans who are looking forward to this game so they can put another smackdown on the Vikings, I assume. I'm not hopeful of a win. But then, last week, I would have taken any bet against the Vikings in the Falcons game. You never know what can happen if the stars align and the Mighty Thor decides to bring his hammer down on the cheese.

Falcons @ Vikings

Pink Floyd wrote "Run Like Hell" in 1979 for The Wall album. I sure hope Teddy Bridgewater listens to the deeply philosophic advice Roger Waters gives him through that song:

"Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Run.
You better make your face up in
Your favorite disguise.
With your button down lips and your
Roller blind eyes.
With your empty smile 
And your hungry heart.
Feel the bile rising from your guilty past.
With your nerves in tatters
When the cockleshell shatters
And the hammers batter 
Down the door.
You'd better run."

The biggest news of the week was not Cassell being done for the season, it was Brandon Fusco (the RG who just signed a 5-year $25 million contract with the Vikings) being placed on injured reserve making him out for the rest of the season.

On the right, we now have Vladimir Ducasse who reminded me of a flaming garbage fire during his brief appearance during the Saints game last weekend. Speaking of garbage, it doesn't get much flamier and stinkier than our #4 overall pick from 2012, Matt Kalil. After making the pro bowl in his rookie year and mysteriously sinking into the quicksand of mediocrity last year, he was projected to have a breakout year this year. The only breaking out we've seen so far has been on the part of any (yes, any) defender who happens to be across from him so far. Kalil looks so incompetent that even half-hearted attempts at rushing the passer result in the QB hitting the ground. In the last game, as one blogger noted, Kalil could legitimately have been given credit for a sack of his own quarterback after he tripped up the QB while being shoved back like a paper figure. At the moment, it looks like he'd have trouble blocking a laundry-line T-shirt from hitting his face.

Oh, remember Kyle Rudolph who signed a 5-year $36.5 million contract extension this year? He's gone for at least six weeks for surgery to repair a sports hernia. And I have no desire to talk of the playing status of Adrian Peterson who signed a 6-year $86.2 million contract with the Vikings recently.

But, the TB infection has started in Minnesota. We're going to throw him to the wolves (Falcons). Poor man is going to be ducking and dodging defensive players all day. Kalil clearly is on a mission to ensure that at least one QB has a good chance of getting killed on each play and Ducasse is so out of it that he doesn't even realize that defenders have gone past him. Matt Asiata looks at every play as the opportunity to grind out a solid 2.5 yards and decides to run into the nearest defender once he manages to get 2.5 yards past the line of scrimmage. Norv Turner obviously has something against Cordarelle Patterson. Despite being the only playmaker actually still playing on the team, he is almost never targeted. Cordarelle must have made a pass at Norv's wife or something like that. For whatever reason, he is in the doghouse.

So, come watch Teddy Time start in Minnesota with Teddy getting a good view of the sky when he is on his back after each play. We can enjoy the view with him. 

Come watch TB run. When the cockleshell shatters ... And the hammers batter down the door ...

Vikings @ Saints

There may be another Grand Jury indictment in Minnesota after the whipping the Patriots put on the Vikings last Sunday.

What?

Too soon?

Well, it wasn't pretty and it had the Packer fans gloating, I'm sure. Cassel "regressed to the mean" after his competent performance in week one. And, things aren't going to get any easier for him this week in New Orleans. For the offensive miscues and overall incompetence we witnessed (was Matt Kalil really a #4 pick?), surprisingly, the defense did not look that bad. I know an opponent scoring 30 points doesn't make the defense look good in the stat book, but remember that Cassel threw four picks (three of them converted into points) and we also had a field goal blocked that went for a touchdown.

The entire Internet was buzzing last week about the effectiveness of the "jet sweep" that gets a dynamic player like Cordarelle Patterson out on the edge to give him a chance to make plays around the corner. Cordarelle had 100+ yards rushing last week. Now, how many times did he get run out of the backfield this week (especially since Adrian was not around?) Guess. Go ahead, take a wild guess. Nope. Cut that guess in half. Nope. Cut it in half once more. It was ZERO. Not a single sweep (or any other play with Cordarelle in the backfield). Now, I'm certainly not criticizing Norv Turner, who has made the games more watchable than Bill Musgrave ever could. But, I'd love a peek into the justification for that decision.

But, let's also address the elephant in the room. Adrian Peterson. I am absolutely stunned that the Vikings decided to play him this week. It seems to me to violate any textbook prescription for dealing with crises or maintaining long term PR balance. The Vikings were roundly praised (in the media) for deactivating Peterson last week. They had the perfect opportunity to build on that and pretend to maintain the moral high ground by keeping him off the field and then reactivating after the four game deactivation (beyond which the Union would not allow deactivation). They could then have blamed Union rules for playing him in the fifth game. Meanwhile, they could have demonstrated that Peterson has started some parenting classes. It would have given fans an excuse to love the team and Peterson again and everyone would have been happy that the team had helped with the rehabilitation of a bad parent. Peterson himself released a nice and seemingly contrite statement where he acknowledged that he needs to change. He could have released another statement after a few weeks talking about his growth in counseling and how he has become a better man. Instead, the team completely blew it. They reactivate him to play despite all the accusations hanging over his head and coming off a bad loss that makes it appear that they are putting football wins over child security. Stupid. Did I say it was handled stupidly? And, just so I'm clear, I think this was the most stupid way of handling a situation that initially seemed to be well handled. Stupid. And dumb.

I know how I feel about the game. I almost hope the Vikings will lose and Peterson has an unremarkable game. Oh, and on another note, are the Vikings stupid? What if Peterson has a monster game. Do you think the fans will be delighted? No. Even the most ardent fan will have mixed feelings. If he does poorly, the team gets criticized for reactivating him for no reason. This is a no win for the Vikings and surely people on their highly paid staff could have foreseen this. Who really wants to see Peterson on the field and cheer for him (or the team) right now? No one I know. What can they possibly gain be reactivating him for the game?

Anyway, I'm relatively ambivalent about the game right now. I am certainly not going to be excited if they win and will just shrug my shoulders if they lose. Definitely don't come for the game this week. Come for the beer and company and the chance to have a meaningless debate about the stupidity of the Vikings. It will be a fun time. A fun time with beer and food. I have the beer and can always scrape up some food. Perhaps I'll make some eggplant curry from the fresh homegrown eggplant Nicole gave me.

I'm sure this will all die down in a few weeks. The right spin will be put on the situation (if someone on the Vikings PR team smartens up) and there will be another celebrity misbehavior unearthed by TMZ that will capture everyone's limited attention span. But something has changed. The enthusiasm with which some of us root for the Vikings will have faded. There will be a measure of discomfort in rooting for their success. The Peterson jersey will stay in closet. It will be washed but still feel a little bit too unclean to wear on Sunday morning. And deep inside our minds many of us would have lost something that drives a lot of fan excitement for what is after all just entertainment.

There are no heroes.

Patriots @ Vikings

Remember last year? The Vikings went 0-8 on the road and their defense became one of the very few teams in the history of the NFL to give up an average of 30 points a game for the season. The most common visual image on TV during games was of Leslie Frazier standing stone-faced, chewing his lower lip while the team collapsed around him. The very special "Musgrave Plan" for the offense involved occasionally dazzling us with the creativity of running Peterson to the right instead of the left (especially when we needed over ten yards for a first down).

Like a good Vikings fan, I suffered through the whole season (most of it alone on my couch as all of you basically left me to my misery). Few of you heard me screaming for Musgrave's head and, when I was hoarse, quietly lamenting the boring offense and non-existent defense.

So, you will forgive me for being happy, excited, energized, and optimistic for one more week as the Vikings THROTTLED the Rams 34-6. The defense held the Rams without a touchdown, had FIVE sacks, and TWO interceptions. On the road. Against one of the better offensive lines in the league. And, did you see that Cordarelle Patterson run? It looked like he ran through all of downtown St. Louis, juked out a few hipsters, leaped over some garbage trucks, ran up and down the arch, and kicked some pallets Anheuser Busch "beer" bottles out of the way on his way to the end zone without anyone able to tackle him. But wait, what did I hear you Packer fans yammer? Something about a backup QB and third stringers? Have you people no memory of the Vikings' awful history with second- and third-string QBs? We have made so many backup QBs look like superstars that playing against the Vikings was officially prescribed by the American Psychological Association as a cure for backup-QB-depression.

Yes, I know the Vikings play the Patriots, Saints, Falcons, and Packers over the next four weeks and could well be 1-4 when they face the Lions, but I am quite certain the games will be more interesting than we've seen in the last several years. I'm not even entirely sure whether we can write off all those games as guaranteed losses at the moment (now THAT is optimism, Vikings-style.)

For the time being, the Vikings are 1-0, undefeated, and leading the division. The Packers are 0-1 and holding down the NFC North Cellar. Is it any wonder that the sun is shining, birds are chirping, babies are cooing, and the man in the moon is smiling?

This week we face Tom Brady and the Patriots who are pissed off after blowing a double-digit lead last week. If my record searching is right, in the last ten years, the Patriots have lost consecutive regular season games only TWICE (2006 and 2009), which is quite an amazing record. Come and watch the Vikings home opener at TCF Bank stadium. It should at least be a fun loss. :-)

Vikings @ Rams

So, FINALLY. Here we are.

The Vikings went undefeated in the preseason (I know. So did the 0-16 2008 Lions). And, they looked good in the games (the first three that I saw).

I'm optimistic. Not playoffs optimistic, but fun games optimistic. Bill Musgrave is gone (that in itself is cause for celebration). Christian Ponder is our 3rd string QB. Can things get better? Yes, they can. Adrian Peterson has yet to play a down during those preseason wins. Mike Zimmer is an established defensive coach. Norv Turner likes to go downfield. Aren't you getting excited?

The first regular season game is on the road. A place the Vikings have rarely done well. But, it should be fun and exciting. Plus, if you come over, I'll give you lunch. I have some BBQ pulled chicken that I'll heat up for y'all to celebrate the start of the season.

I promise you a fun game and maybe even a rare road win.

Hope to see you this weekend or sometime this season.

Let the fun begin.